It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
