no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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