I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
