he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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