GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Randomize
