Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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