So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
