I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize