Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
