just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
