He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
