Apparently you make a good broom.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
