Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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