he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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