there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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