Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
