super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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