My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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