i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
