Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
