Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
