1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
