You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
