My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
