Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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