4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
