Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
