I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize