there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
