Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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