tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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