Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
