She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So many bounce houses so little time
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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