It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize