whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize