four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
