Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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