Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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