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some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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