Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize