She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize