i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
