Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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