Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
