Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
