youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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