we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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