We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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