No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
