16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just gift wrapped bread.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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