I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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