I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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