I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
