if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
