Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
