First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
