how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
