I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
