shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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