Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
