3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
