I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
