Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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