New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
