Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
