I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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