awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
